And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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