i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize