I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
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