omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Randomize
