There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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