fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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