look no pants
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
