The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Randomize
