You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
We have so much sex to catch up on
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I'm gonna fight the coyote
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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