yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize