She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Holy shit dude........stairs
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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