I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
