you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
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While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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