well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
I think a kid would responsible me up
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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