She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Randomize
