Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
even my farts smell like vagina
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her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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