I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
