I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Randomize
