dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
