now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
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