I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
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