I puked a lego.
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
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