Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
