capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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