So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Randomize
