She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
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