I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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