exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
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