So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
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