I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
