Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
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Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
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I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
