Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
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Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
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I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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