Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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