yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
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