yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
