my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
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