I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
