Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize