Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
