Define "chronic" masturbator.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
