lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
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