my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
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