you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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