I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
I wanna passion pit in your ass
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
