I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
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