You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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