just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
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