I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Randomize
