If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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