he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
