It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Randomize
