What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
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