I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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