It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Randomize
