I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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