You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
