they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
