I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Randomize
