I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Randomize