So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Randomize
