I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
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