My nipple is on Facebook.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Randomize
