This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
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i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
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