Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
He passed out mid-signature
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
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