We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Randomize
