I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Randomize
