You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Randomize
