Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
